Picture this: It’s Friday night and you’re ready to let loose after a long, hard week. Some of your friends are going to a party down the road and invite you to join them. You go home, make sure you look presentable and hit the road. But when you arrive, you’re staring open-mouthed at a scene of utter chaos.
The acrid stench of unattended vomit stings your eyes as you gingerly step over a pile of broken glass. Somewhere between leaning into a stack of old beer and watching a rotten-faced couple carry on like it’s the end times, you ask yourself, « Aren’t we men? »
Do we not have laws separating us from the lower animals?” Well, worry no more! Hereby Private Island Party, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to tame the foreboding wildness of the party scene. That’s why we put our best heads together to put together the definitive guide to common game fouls and their associated penalties.
The Book of the Party Animal: A Champion’s Guide to Party Skills, Party Violations, Jokes and Mayhem
#1 Spill
PARTY MISTAKE: Someone spills a drink on the carpet
Punishment: They have to suck it out of the carpet
#2 Breaks
PARTY MISTAKE: Someone breaks a glass
Punishment: confiscate their shoes
#3 Vomit
PARTY MISTAKE: Someone pukes outside the bathroom
They must wear a bib and sit in the corner
#4 Music disruption
PARTY FOUL: Someone changes the music in the middle of a song
Punishment: They have to finish the song… on the kazoo
#5 Drink
PARTY MISTAKE: Someone doesn’t bring alcohol
Punishment: « Oh cool, you can DD »
#6 Distracted
PARTY ERROR: Someone is calling/texting all the time
Punishment: Host gets texts from their phone
#7 Theme party transgressions
PARTY ERROR: Someone didn’t honor the theme
Punishment: The host gets to dress them up
#8 Alcohol spill
PARTY FOUL: Cracking a new brew before the old one runs out
Punishment: Must collect and drink every dirty, warm, half-empty beer instead
#9 Rudeness
PARTY MISTAKE: Cutting the keg line
Punishment: You must fill up everyone you cut before drinking
#10 Public intimacy
PARTY ERROR: Excessive PDA
Punishment: Duct tape their heads together
And there you have it, folks! With a few simple rules, your parties will run smoothly. Want to add a little extra oomph to your conversations? Check out Private Island’s exclusive new Party Foul Flag!
